How to Choose a Wedding or Couples Photographer
If you’re beginning your search for a photographer — for your wedding, engagement, or just because you want to document this chapter of your relationship — you’ve probably realized there are a lot of options.
Some photographers focus on posed studio portraits.
Some lean heavily into editorial fashion.
Others document moments as they unfold in real time.
But beyond portfolio style, how do you know if a photographer is truly the right fit for you?
Here are a few thoughtful things to look for when choosing a photographer who can capture your relationship in a way that feels stylish, honest, and true to you.
1. Do you actually like the way their photos feel?
A portfolio shouldn’t just look good — it should move you.
As you scroll through a photographer’s work, ask yourself:
Do these images feel like real people?
Can I picture us in these moments?
Do the emotions feel rehearsed or lived-in?
Style matters, but emotional alignment matters more. If you’re drawn to photos that feel cinematic yet grounded, modern yet sincere, you’re already halfway there.
2. Do they prioritize connection over performance?
Some photographers direct every moment. Some barely direct at all.
Most strong photographers live somewhere in the middle: subtle guidance, while leaving space for authenticity.
Look for someone who cares about who you are as a couple — how you interact, how you move, how you settle into each other — not just how to pose you.
At Slate + Flash, that connection-first approach starts long before the shoot: on the first call, in the questionnaires, and at the engagement session where we get comfortable together long before the photo session.
3. Is the experience supported (not DIY)?
A lot of stress happens before anyone picks up a camera.
The difference between a good portfolio and a great experience is how supported you feel at every step:
Is the booking process clear?
Do they guide you through next steps?
Are timelines, deliverables, and expectations easy to understand?
Do you feel looked after?
Talent gets you beautiful images. Support gets you there without overwhelm.
At Slate + Flash, the experience is intentionally guided — from the first call to final delivery — so you always know what’s happening and what comes next.
4. Do they invest in preparation (not just the day-of)?
Great photography doesn’t “just happen.”
Behind the scenes, the best photographers:
practice, practice, practice
are likely shooting more than 1 genre or style
are client experience focused
align on your expectations
and get to know your relationship
This preparation makes wedding days feel smoother, calmer, and more present — and it shows in the images.
5. Are their couples genuinely happy after the experience?
Reviews tell you a lot. Not just that people were happy, but how they talk about the experience.
Look for details like:
“We felt comfortable.”
“We never felt awkward.”
“It felt like we were just hanging out.”
“We didn’t feel staged or managed.”
“The photos feel like us.”
That kind of feedback reveals whether the photographer knows how to work with real couples — not just models.
6. Do you trust them enough to relax?
This may be the biggest one.
On your wedding day (or during a portrait session), you don’t want to be managing the shoot. You want someone whose presence helps you settle into yourselves, rather than perform for the camera.
Trust is built through:
communication
experience
emotional intelligence
clarity
and respect for what the photos will mean years from now
When that trust is there, everything feels easier — and the photos feel more like you.
Final Thoughts
Choosing a photographer is ultimately about alignment: between style, personality, process, and values.
You’re inviting someone into one of the most meaningful chapters of your life — not just to observe it, but to help you see it more clearly.
Look for someone who values connection over convention; someone who combines artful storytelling with a highly supported experience; someone who helps you feel comfortable enough to forget about the camera.
If that approach resonates, I’d love to connect. You can get started here.
